rawhumor:

Follow this blog to receive the funniest posts on your dashboard!

throwthefruitpunch:

heysammy:

woah girl are you from france ‘cause

madamn

oh my god I found my new favourite pick up line

strivingking:

If you’re in college right now

Check the syllabus for each one of your classes right now while you bullshittin

Don’t fall behind this early in the semester off some bullshit

puniper:

U N L E A S H  T H E  B E E S

puniper:

U N L E A S H  T H E  B E E S

Cashier: That'll be $4.03
Me: I only have $4...
Cashier: That's ok, I have the three cents
Me: ...........
Cashier: ........
Me: what are we?
I am trying to see things in perspective. My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot have this, because chocolate makes dogs very sick. My dog does not understand this. She pouts and wraps herself around my leg like a scarf and purrs and tries to convince me to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in, she eventually gives up and lays in the corner, under the piano, drooping and sad. I hope the universe has my best interest in mind like I have my dog’s. When I want something with my whole being, and the universe withholds it from me, I hope the universe thinks to herself: "Silly girl. She thinks this is what she wants, but she does not understand how it will hurt.
THEORIES ABOUT THE UNIVERSE by Blythe Baird  (via likespancakes)

garbashians:

when someone makes a joke about one of ur insecurities

clashboarding:

when ur mom gives u money to buy something and forgets to ask for the change

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chillcal:

when you’re done reading smut

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When The Media Treats White Suspects And Killers Better Than Black Victicms.

curvesincolor:

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via The Huffington Post.

metallics:

when ur mom makes u get up in the morning but u still half asleep

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westbor0baptistchurch:

*starts hyperventilating into a Chanel bag*